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Wednesday, May 21, 2003
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Friday, April 25, 2003
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Friday, March 28, 2003
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US Department of Laughs: The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov/. It's another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII. The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations...
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Tuesday, March 18, 2003
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Michael Moore letter to Bush : "Dear Governor Bush: So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I'm glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if I could take much more. So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:"
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Sunday, March 16, 2003
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2003 State of the Universe Address - By Swami Beyondananda: "I have to be blunt here -- the folks we have in charge are fossils fueled by fossil fuels. And in the reptilian brain, problems aren't solved, they're attacked. Like the War on Poverty. Remember that? I'm happy to report that it's finally over. The poor people have all surrendered. And take the War on Drugs -- please! How many billions have they spent? My solution is cheaper and more effective ... improve reality!
Now we have the War on Terrorism. We're going to terrorize those terrorists into giving up terrorism if it's the last thing we do! And it just might be. The good news is -- and I have it on the Highest Authority -- there will indeed be peace on Earth. Whether we humans are around to enjoy it, that is up to us...
... the folks we have in charge are fossils fueled by fossil fuels. And in the reptilian brain, problems aren't solved, they're attacked. Like the War on Poverty. Remember that? I'm happy to report that it's finally over. The poor people have all urrendered. And take the War on Drugs -- please! How many billions have they spent? My solution is cheaper and more effective ... improve reality!
Now we have the War on Terrorism. We're going to terrorize those terrorists into giving up terrorism if it's the last thing we do! And it just might be. The good news is -- and I have it on the Highest Authority -- there will indeed be peace on Earth. Whether we humans are around to enjoy it, that is up to us.
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Friday, March 14, 2003
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Thursday, March 13, 2003
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Tuesday, February 11, 2003
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VIETNAM 2 PREFLIGHT CHECK
1. Cabal of oldsters who won't listen to outside advice? Check.
2. No understanding of ethnicities of the many locals? Check.
3. Imposing country boundaries drawn in Europe, not by the locals? Check.
4. Unshakeable faith in our superior technology? Check
5. France secretly hoping we fall on our asses? Check.
6. Russia secretly hoping we fall on our asses? Check.
7. China secretly hoping we fall on our asses? Check.
8. SecDef pushing a conflict the JCS never wanted? Check.
9. Fear we'll look bad if we back down now? Check.
10. Corrupt Texan in the WH? Check.
11. Land war in Asia? Check.
12. Right unhappy with outcome of previous war? Check.
13. Enemy easily moves in/out of neighboring countries? Check.
14. Soldiers about to be dosed with *our own* chemicals? Check.
15. Friendly fire problem ignored instead of solved? Check.
16. Anti-Americanism up sharply in Europe? Check.
17. B-52 bombers? Check.
18. Helicopters that clog up on the local dust? Check.
19. In-fighting among the branches of the military? Check.
20. Locals that cheer us by day, hate us by night? Check.
21. Local experts ignored? Check.
22. Local politicians ignored? Check.
23. Locals used to conflicts lasting longer than the USA has been a country? Check.
24. Against advice, Prez won't raise taxes to pay for war? Check.
25. Blue water navy ships operating in brown water? Check.
26. Use of nukes hinted at if things don't go our way? Check.
27. Unpopular war? Check.
VIETNAM 2 YOU ARE CLEARED TO TAXI
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Nachman' for Jan. 29: SPENCER: Oh they can protest whatever they want. And what's upsetting to me is that the United States, our people, the reason we're such a great country is because we hold dear the right to protest, to question our government. And I really feel like a lot of this movement has hijacked that right to advance their own political agenda.
When you strip away the communists and the socialists, the environmentalists, the anarchists, and those who are just there for the beer and the babes, the skeleton of actual antiwar protesters really isn't that big. So I think we have to take it with a grain of salt what this movement actually is.
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Wednesday, February 05, 2003
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Monty Python's Terry Jones on pre-emptive strikes: "For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street. Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is.
As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one. Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours. They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people.
Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace...."
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Tuesday, February 04, 2003
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Signs at anti-war marches:
Drunken frat boy drives country into ditch.
Bush/Cheney: Malice in Blunderland
Who would Jesus bomb?
War begins with 'Dubya'.
Bush is proof that empty warheads can be dangerous.
Let's bomb Texas, they have oil too.
How did our oil get under their sand?
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
If you can't pronounce it, don't bomb it.
Daddy, can I start the war now?
1000 points of light and one dim bulb.
Sacrifice our SUV's, not our children.
Preemptive impeachment.
No George, I said Mac Attack.
Frodo has failed, Bush has the ring.
Look, I'll pay more for gas!
He is a moron and a bully.
It's the stupid economy.
Draft Richard Perle.
Draft dodgers shouldn't start wars.
War is sweet to those who haven't tasted it (Erasmus).
Pillow fights only.
Our grief [over 9/11] is not a cry for war.
Different Bush, same shit.
Stop the Bushit.
"Just war"/just oil.
You don't have to like Bush to love America.
Bushes are for pissing on.
Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld: the asses of evil.
$1 billion a day to kill people -- what a bargain.
Consume -- Consume -- Bomb -- Bomb -- Consume -- Consume
What's the difference between me & God? He might forgive Bush, but I won't.
Smush Bush.
America, get out of the Bushes.
It's time to trim the Bush.
Pro-lifers: Wake from Bush's propaganda spell -- war kills innocent children.
Don't make me come back here [to a peace rally] again.
Disarm Bush too.
Big brother isn't coming -- he's already here.
Empires fall.
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind (Gandhi).
Impeach the squatters.Mainstream white guys for peace. (Sign held by three mainstream-looking white guys)
Hans Blix -- look over here.
Let Exxon send its own troops.
Curious, George? -- get a clue.
Destroy Florida. [It could happen again]
There's a terrorist behind every Bush.
How many bodies per mile?
SUV owners roll over for terrorism.
We can't afford to rule the world.
War is so 20th century!
9-11-01: 15 Saudis, 0 Iraqis.
While you were watching the war, Bush was raping America.
Don't waive your rights while waving your flag.
Leave Desert Storm to the desert.
Drop Bush not bombs.
Bush is to Christianity as Osama is to Islam.
I asked for universal health care and all I got was this lousy stealth bomber.
America's problems won't be solved in Iraq.
War is not a family value.
[2 sided poster] one side has a picture of a chubby feline, with the words: GOOD FAT CAT other side has a picture of Cheney, with the words: BAD FAT CAT
Colorfully dressed drag queen carrying a sign that says: I am the bomb.
[Picture of the peace symbol:] back by popular demand.
A picture of Bush with a red-stained upper lip: Got blood?
A picture of Bush saying "Why should I care what the American people think? They didn't vote for me."
A picture of Bush saying "Ask me about my lobotomy." Beneath a picture of Osama bin Laden dressed as Uncle Sam:
I want YOU to bomb Iraq.
Beneath a picture of a menacing soldier pointing his rifle/bayonet toward the viewer: "Say it! One Nation under God. Say it!"
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Tuesday, January 28, 2003
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An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." "The other wolf is good. He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old Cherokee replied, "The one you feed."
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Tuesday, December 24, 2002
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Bill Of Rights Pared Down To A Manageable Six: "We're not taking away personal rights; we're increasing personal security," Ashcroft said... thanks to several key additions, the Bill of Rights now offers protections that were previously lacking, including the right to be protected by soldiers quartered in one's home (Amendment III)"
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Sunday, December 15, 2002
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3 Wise Woman: What would have happened if it had been three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men?
-they would have asked for directions.
-helped deliver the baby.
-clean the stable.
-brought practical gifts.
-and made a casserole.
But, what would they have said as they left....?
"Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown?"
"I hear Joseph isn't working right now."
"And that donkey they are riding has seen better days too!"
"Virgin my *%@$! I knew her in school."
"That baby doesn't look a bit like Joseph!"
"Want to bet on how long it will take before you get your casserole dish back?"
"Did you see that Drummer boy? He can beat my drum anytime!"
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Saturday, December 14, 2002
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Saturday, November 30, 2002
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If we cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets hurt your Mama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are Saudi
And the bank takes back your Audi
And the TV shows are bawdy,
Bomb Iraq. ....
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